I (40F) recently went on a road trip with my boyfriend (39M) to celebrate a significant career milestone. The trip ended abruptly after four days, and I’m now seriously considering ending the relationship.
We spent 12 weeks planning this trip. I covered the accommodations, while he agreed to pay for meals and fuel. We had planned to leave at 6 a.m. on the first day, but he didn’t show up until early afternoon. Despite repeatedly claiming he was “on his way,” it turned out he was running errands for his family and meeting a coworker. By the time he arrived, I was already frustrated. At the gas station, he asked me to cover the fuel, saying he’d pay for the next expense, but he only ended up paying for one meal that day. He also complained when I wanted to buy snacks.
On the third day, he suggested meeting his ex in-laws, who live out of state, to pick up his daughter (17F). Since we had planned for her to spend the day with us, I agreed. However, when I noticed she had a backpack, I found out—while driving—that he had invited her to stay overnight in our room without consulting me. I was shocked but tried to stay calm. Later, I told him privately that he needed to book a separate room for her. This led to a huge argument, with him accusing me of pretending to like his daughter and being manipulative.
He claimed I had agreed to this arrangement, which I hadn’t. If I had known, I would have arranged for a suite or connecting rooms. Our room had no extra bed, and we’d planned for privacy. I wasn’t comfortable sharing the bed or having her sleep on the floor—it felt disrespectful to both her and our plans. He begrudgingly booked a separate room but was furious, accusing me of “burning a hole in his pocket.” He then gathered some belongings, slammed the door, and spent the night with his daughter instead of resolving things with me. I spent the night alone, feeling disrespected and guilty.
The next morning, his daughter was kind as usual, but he gave me the silent treatment. When I tried to talk, he angrily told me I had “ruined everything” and that he wasn’t attracted to me anymore. I held back tears and asked if we could talk later, but he buried himself in his phone. I eventually drove his daughter back to her grandparents and decided to head home. When he realized what was happening, he asked where I was going, and I told him the trip was canceled. I dropped him at his house and continued the trip alone, but I couldn’t enjoy it.
He’s been calling me repeatedly, but I haven’t picked up. I’m not trying to punish him, but I don’t see the point in a conversation after he said he’s no longer attracted to me. I’ve already packed up his belongings to return them.
Now I’m questioning everything. Was it wrong to insist on a separate room for his daughter? He has joint custody and sees her regularly. On top of that, I feel he didn’t honor our agreement about splitting trip expenses—I had to constantly remind him to pay for meals and fuel.
AITA?
