Before I dive into the update, I want to address some recurring questions from my last post since many people were confused or curious.
1. How did I give everyone a ride home?
My family lives about an hour and a half from my aunt’s house. I’d load up my car with as many people as possible and drive them home. The next day, they’d use their spouses’ cars to retrieve the vehicles they left behind. Yes, it’s a ridiculous system.
2. How did I get home that night?
I took an Uber.
3. Why was my cousin asking to leave at 11?
She was drunk and probably didn’t realize what time it was. When my aunt overheard me getting upset about it, she pulled me aside, and that’s what escalated everything.
Update:
I sent a message to our family group chat, including those who didn’t attend the party but heard about what happened. Here’s what I wrote:
*”Hey everyone, I’m not going to apologize for what happened on New Year’s Eve. I told you all well in advance that I wasn’t going to be the designated driver this year, and I expected you to respect that. I’m not anyone’s personal chauffeur, and I’m done being treated like I’m responsible for everyone else’s lack of planning.
When (Cousin) called me a b**** for not driving, that was uncalled for. And Aunt (Name), lecturing me about being selfish and ruining the night because I chose to enjoy myself instead of taking on that responsibility again?
I love you all, but I can’t be your punching bag anymore. I’m not going to keep letting myself be the one who sacrifices for everyone else’s convenience. I’ve done it for years, and I’m done.
Next year, I think I’ll be spending New Year’s somewhere else. I wish you all safe rides home and hope you’ll be able to figure something out. I’ll be taking some space from everyone and hope you will understand.”*
Fallout:
I made the difficult decision to block my parents. They’ve been calling me awful names and making me feel like garbage since this happened. Reflecting on my childhood, I now see how much gaslighting I endured and how deeply it affected me. My parents are likely the root cause of my severe anxiety.
Thankfully, my sister and brother are on my side, and they’re equally frustrated with our family. I still have their support, and for that, I’m grateful.
Thank You:
I want to sincerely thank everyone here. I’ve always known something was wrong with my family dynamic, but I never realized how much they took me for granted or how unloved I felt until now. Your comments helped me see that I’m worth more and deserve better.
Good News:
On a positive note, my boyfriend is now my fiancé! A few days after my post, he proposed. His original plan was to take me to see some light displays in town after I got home and propose there. When I came home crying, he read the situation and adjusted. Once I felt better, he took me out to dinner and proposed there.
I don’t know how the wedding will go or if my parents will be involved, but I’m excited to celebrate with people who genuinely love and appreciate me.
Thank you again for giving me the clarity and confidence to stand up for myself. ❤️
