Throwaway account, so feel free to get your “this is fake” comments out early.
I (32F) had a baby boy when I was 16. My then-boyfriend, Mike (33M), disappeared as soon as he found out I was pregnant. With the support of his family, he completely ghosted me, prioritizing his “future as a college star.”
My parents were clear from the start: the decision was mine. After much thought, I decided against abortion (a choice I respect for others but wasn’t for me) and chose adoption. My parents introduced me to a wonderful couple who were looking to adopt. We met, and I knew they were the right choice. They supported me through everything—helping with schoolwork, preparing me for college, and even covering most of my medical expenses.
When I gave birth, I didn’t hold the baby. His adoptive mother—his real mother—was there, and it felt right. Over the years, I’ve remained in his life as a “special aunt.” He knows who I am, but I’ve never been his mom. His parents raised him, and he’s grown up happy and loved.
Fast forward to now: I’m married to Aaron (44M), who has two kids from a previous marriage—Bella (40F), his ex-wife, and I are good friends. I get along well with both step-kids, especially my step-son (16M), who calls me his “other mom.”
The drama started when I took my step-son to a medical appointment while he was under anesthesia. Neither Aaron nor Bella could take time off, so I stepped in. While there, I ran into Mike—one of the doctors. I didn’t recognize him at first, but he approached me afterward, talking about “our son” and how he had been thinking about us. It took me a moment to realize he thought my step-son was our child.
I quickly corrected him: my step-son isn’t biologically mine, and I had given our baby up for adoption years ago. I explained that our son knows his story and is living happily with his family. Mike tried to apologize, but I shut him down, saying I didn’t want him in my life and wouldn’t provide any contact information for our son. He had abandoned me and was now 16 years too late.
Since then, Mike has found me on social media, spreading a sob story about how I “robbed” him of his chance to be a father. Some of our old classmates called him out, reminding him how he laughed about leaving me pregnant. However, some of his relatives have reached out to criticize me, saying I’m a “poor Christian” (I’m Jewish, by the way) and claiming I made a “b*tch move” by not informing Mike of the adoption.
I stand by my decision, but a few friends have said I should’ve told Mike about the adoption, even though he abandoned me. So, Reddit, AITA?
